They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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