I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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