Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls should come with a carfax report
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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