I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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