the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
