So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
