Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
