Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
