whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
