As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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