Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
