Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
