who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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