Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
