he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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