Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
my liver is dry heaving
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
