Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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