oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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