i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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