I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
