therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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