Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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