Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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