how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
