dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The adults are the big ones right?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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