How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
