i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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