sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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