He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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