NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Randomize
