so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
