i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I have aggressive nipples.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
