She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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