What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
