1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
