you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize