You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
