My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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