so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
