It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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