does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
