yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
