Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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