I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
