i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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