so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
