he puts the penis in happiness.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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