My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
love makes seman taste better
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
