what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
