Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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