I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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