Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
