He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
