Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize