Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
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