Dude my mom stole all your condoms
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i will never coherently bang her
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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