jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
