He kissed a someone with a penis
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
