if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
