I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
