I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The best revenge is premature balding
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
