she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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