Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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